Alright folks, it’s 2026. We’ve avoided it long enough. It’s time to have a conversation - a real conversation - about what constitutes a “spoiler” in this country. I’m not sure when we went off the rails as a society, but I don’t seem to know a single person who can wholeheartedly protect the narrative … Continue reading Spoiler Alert: Why You’re Probably Ruining Movies for Everyone in Your Life
The Universe Sends a Sign
I just spent the last hour of my life scrolling through Instagram reels. An hour-long IV drip of Numb straight into my eyes; outsourcing brain function to an algorithm that wants me to cringe, laugh, and jerk off - in that order. At one point I found myself bargaining. “I’ll only like and save the … Continue reading The Universe Sends a Sign
Horny for Hurricanes
Way to strike while the iron is hot, Lando. Talk about RELEVANT! Maybe you can make it in this business after all. Ahhh Florida, bath salts, and ice baths. Is this anything? You know, the state gets a bad rep but if you can bear the absurd property prices, comical rates of insurance scams, and … Continue reading Horny for Hurricanes
You’re Not on a Journey
Look, I don’t like being a language Nazi. I don’t like being any type of Nazi. I’m not a Nazi – I should have gone with a different analogy here. Ok, let’s start over. Language changes with every generation and I think it’s often a reflection of how that generation perceives itself. If you pay … Continue reading You’re Not on a Journey
Stop Chasing Your Dreams
Ok, so let me preface this by noting that I am a frustrated artist trying to make it in a difficult industry. With that said, I think we need to stop telling kids to follow their dreams. I get really attached to some terrible takes sometimes, especially if they are based on what I perceive … Continue reading Stop Chasing Your Dreams
Remodeling
So I was standing there, measuring and cutting baseboards using the electric saw I borrowed from my dad. It’s a good saw – Dewalt 10” Single Bevel Compound Miter Swivel Saw. You can set it at different angles so you can cut pieces of baseboard with diagonal edges and join them on corner walls. I … Continue reading Remodeling
Encounter With Abuelita
Some time ago I had an exchange with an older Hispanic woman at the mall. I know that in the post-COVID world that seems like an anachronism but I made a note of it and forgot about it. I rediscovered the note while going through some old drafts and I decided to elaborate on it … Continue reading Encounter With Abuelita
What a New Car and COVID-19 Taught Me About Perspective
"Oh Lamar, Hail Mary and marijuana, times is hard." Kendrick Lamar. DAMN. Top Dawg Entertainment, 2017 So, 2020, weird start huh? I started listening to gospel music; I’m not even religious. Someone asked me what I gave up for lent this year. I said “Hope”. It felt like a funny thing to say at the … Continue reading What a New Car and COVID-19 Taught Me About Perspective
Over My Dead Body: A Case for Natural Burials
I think about death often. I think it’s healthy. I know it’s a taboo topic, but I never understood why if it’s going to happen to all of us. We should try to get more comfortable with the subject; in fact, I think we should talk to our kids about death all the time. Just remind … Continue reading Over My Dead Body: A Case for Natural Burials
Giving Notice
So I quit my job. Long story short; at the expense of my parents pride and my wife’s mental health, I have made a rather drastic life decision and changed career paths, a change that quite frankly surprised me too. I’ve had my fair share of issues with my workplace, which probably made the decision … Continue reading Giving Notice
Lando Writes Sometimes 