Tantrum

Remember those kids you used to walk by at Walmart or Target; throwing a tantrum; crying and screaming to get their mom to buy them that toy they wanted?

How do you think they turned out?

Do you think they became perfectly stable, well-adjusted adults?

They probably don’t become the type of people that call complete strangers “faggot” in online games. Right?

Most likely not that person who treats waiters like shit and immediately calls the manager if their order is wrong.

Definitely not the type of people who monopolize conversations and make them about themselves because you reallllyyy have to see how cute their dog is. #ilovemypug…. Yeah, that kid probably didn’t turn into that…

I try to avoid those kids… well, kids in general, but that kid specifically… as an adult I mean…

I fucked up the metaphor but the point is the same.

I don’t want to provide that grown up with the attention he didn’t get from his parents as a child. And honestly, I think the selfishness of those people is a result of the parents themselves. They decided to take the easy route in parenting and as a result, now we all gotta deal with this fucking guy cutting me off in traffic. Seriously, fuck those parents.

Just give your stupid kid a hug now and then. Not for him, I don’t care about the brat. Do it for the rest of us; so we don’t have to deal with another feckless Instagram model or another MLM “executive.”

Do us all a favor and take your kid to the park, interact with them, read books to them and help them develop a personality and self-awareness, so I don’t have to fantasize about accelerating when they cross the street in front of me without looking both ways because they were staring at their phone.

Because for the most part, I can accept that some people turn into criminals and degenerates. A lot of those guys didn’t get a fair shake. Bad environment, poverty, violence in the household; so many things beyond their parents’ control that you can at least rationalize how they got there. But entitled, self-absorbed adults? That is the parental system failing. That’s not knowing when to say “no” to that cookie. That’s choosing to appease cries for attention with another toy. That’s not realizing that giving them a tablet at the age of 5 as a substitute for actually engaging with your child is analogous to neglect.

Don’t get me wrong, I can see the logical inconsistency in that train of thought. That kid on the phone crossing the street without looking, causing me to hit the brakes last minute, had as little of a say in their rearing as some other kid robing a convenience store somewhere. I get it; Walmart kid was not handed a questionnaire before being conceived. There was no “At what age would you like your parents to get a divorce in order to maximize your need for attention in your adulthood?” question. In a way, neither of them had a chance, did they? But the parents did, and we are talking in generalities here.

Entitlement is the result of privilege; entitlement that you don’t really get to learn if you happen to grow up in an underprivileged home. When you grow up poor you steal from necessity. When you grow up rich, you steal for attention. That’s what I mean by entitlement. And that’s who I’m talking about here; the parents that had the income to actually do a good job rearing a child that could have become a productive and valuable member of society, but instead cut corners and created another Logan Paul. I really resent those people.

I mean… How much more of a fucking lay-up do you need?

At least if you had to work two jobs to make the rent, I could understand. Yeah, dad left and it was up to mom to make sure you didn’t become a heroin addict, I get that. I had a mom like that, I can relate. But if you have two parents who don’t have to fear if their next paycheck is going to cover utilities, then all they have to do is show up. That’s a low bar. But I am surprised at how many parents fail to be present in the lives of their children. And I don’t mean showing up to the little league games – although, you should definitely do that too – I mean just be there; not on your phone, not distracted, but actually engaged. Ask questions, challenge their ideas, and give them reasons to want to be better people. If you don’t have to work two jobs, you have the fucking time man. You really, really do. It’s a super important occupation. In all likelihood, the most important thing you will ever do. One, that terrifyingly, has zero actual requirements and people still manage to be under-qualified for. The only thing you need less documentation for in the U.S. is buying a gun. Anyone can have a kid.

There really aren’t many jobs that have similar repercussions if done poorly. You chose not to pull out and now you got a person you are responsible for. That doesn’t happen to plumbers; if they didn’t seal something properly their biggest worry is a leak, not accidentally creating a Ted Bundy.

Why isn’t “Raising a Solid Person” a required class in high school? Seems like teaching a class like that would really cover some bases. Because that person we create will join the rest of society in just a few years, a person we will ALL have to deal with. Yet some people don’t seem to understand this and keep producing these vain, self-indulgent, net-losses to society that the rest of us still have to be polite to when they can’t shut the fuck up about their dog. If you’ve gone to a theme-park and contemplated extreme violence because you had to navigate around selfie-taking zombies like a game of Frogger, in what is CLEARLY a densely-trafficked walking area, I can’t stress this enough: do us all a favor, and stop making those people.