Blariel

Ah fuck it; I guess I’ll write about it while it’s still somewhat relevant.

So yeah, this whole black Ariel thing is weird. If you don’t know, Disney is making a live-action version of The Little Mermaid movie and they’ve casted a young black actress by the legally dubious name of Halle Bailey to play the lead role of Ariel, the titular little mermaid. People apparently got mad about that because of reasons. At this point I shouldn’t be surprised that stuff like this causes controversy, but it’s still annoying every time it happens. I have to thank Reddit this time for bringing my attention to this cultural phenomenon. Although I am not on Twitter myself, I am subscribed to r/blackpeopletwitter. I guess I shouldn’t assume all five of you know what Reddit is, huh? That seems like bad penmanship.

So Reddit is like watching a live synaptic map of the internet’s brain, it is made up of thousands of communities called ‘subreddits’ (indicated by ‘r/’) that are devoted to topics as broad as pictures and as niche as slow cooking recipes. That is as much as I will dedicate to explaining what Reddit is, there’s a great video by a Youtuber (weird that this is part of our lexicon now) called CGP Grey that will do a better job at explaining Reddit than I ever could. I also don’t feel obligated to explain why I am subscribed to r/blackpeopletwitter, just know that it’s amazing and not racist, I promise. I could see how to the uninitiated a name like that would appear to have a negative connotation, but it doesn’t. I promise. Just, just go check it out, alright? Stop judging me.

Wow, enough of that tangent. So yeah, scrolling through the totally not-racist r/blackpeopletwitter subreddit made me aware of this ridiculous non-story that I guess I am going to talk about now….

As with all things I write, this carries the implication that I don’t have any idea what I’m talking about. I am not someone whose opinions on racial politics should be taken seriously because I am not a particularly serious person. The thought that my words carry with them any weight of authority in any subject is as laughable as the fact that I am even writing this paragraph at the moment.

With that said, I don’t see the problem with black Ariel. I have not heard a single argument to convince me that race is not the biggest reason why anyone would be upset that the character will be black.

First of all, it’s a fictional cartoon character. The only aspect of her physical appearance that was relevant to the plot of the movie was the fact that she was pretty. And I think that Halle Bailey is objectively pretty. So the adherence to the plot can’t be the reason. Plus, it’s a movie about a girl who sees a hot guy, falls in love without even knowing if he finished Game of Thrones, then sells her soul to the devil and abandons her family and friends in pursuit of some dick. That is a plot that demands to be updated in 2019. So again, maintaining the purity of the plot cannot possibly be the issue.

So what else is it? Nostalgia? Did you relate to the character in its original form because it looked like you? That last one I kinda get. I was talking to a girl I know who has red hair. She said to me that the reason why she was hesitant about the change was because she grew up with an Ariel that looked like her, she could relate, she felt proud to have a red-haired princess. To that I say: she still fucking is. It’s not like they are going back and black-washing the original Ariel. Jesus Christ. You can just download the animated movie, buy a DVD, or find the last functioning VHS player and watch it like you did the very first time. That Ariel is still Ariel, this Ariel is Ariel too. They are the same thing and also different. What is so hard to accept about that? You don’t want to see Ariel be black? Fine, just watch the animated movie and don’t go to theaters, problem solved. Besides, isn’t watching the original a better fix for your nostalgia than watching a live-action re-make that will likely be disappointing?

So nostalgia is not a good enough reason either. What about the fact that girls who grew up with red-hair felt ‘represented’ by this movie? If the movie is about inclusion, what about them?….. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

But seriously, if you can’t see why that argument is ridiculous just…. I don’t know. Do you know about the hundreds of years of slavery, segregation and systematic oppression the black community has been enduring? Because oppression and lack of positive representation in the media is the recipe to create a dark cultural cycle of low self-esteem and lack of self-worth. We need a lot of young black girls to feel represented and have something to look up to as well. Hopefully this version of the movie has Ariel becoming an empowered woman who is driven and does not need a man to validate her value and boost her self-esteem. All girls need that, not just black ones. Ooooo, look how progressive I am. Ugh, I annoy myself.

I’m just saying; what Ariel was for red-heads, she can be for black girls as well. That seems like a very positive thing. Why not just be happy about the fact that a young girl will be made to feel the same way you felt when you first watched the movie? Isn’t that beautiful? Why not want to spread that love and joy? Huh? You racist sack of shit…. Just kidding, sometimes racism is informed by your social context and the environment in which you grew up in. You can’t control either of those variables. I am not here to impart judgement upon racists. Just because I find racism to be a very negative personality trait, it doesn’t mean I think that every racist is a sack of shit. Well, I am doing a poor job at staying out of tangents huh?

Anyway, so nostalgia is insufficient and wanting representation is tone-deaf. So that leaves the issue of race to be the only viable reason why you don’t like this change. If you are OK with knowing that about yourself, that’s fine, I guess. You are allowed to hold whatever beliefs you want, that’s the beauty of living in a free country. It’s none of my business who you like or don’t like. Just please; be careful when downloading that negativity and divisiveness onto your children, because they didn’t get to choose their environment either and the rest of us still need to deal with them. So maybe let’s try to make them not-racist? There’s a novel idea.

But wait! I have more unsolicited opinions!

I am almost equally annoyed by the people who are taking up arms to defend Disney’s decision. I have come across a few internet articles that outright praise Disney for this choice. Guys, are we nuts? It’s a multi-BILLION dollar media monopoly, Disney doesn’t give a fuck about your social stance or about being woke, Disney just wants your fucking money. How did we forget that all of the sudden? We are attributing human traits to an imaginary creation. Disney isn’t even a physical entity, it is in itself a fantasy, which is ironic; it is the fabrication of lawyers and paperwork for the sole purpose of generating profit by manufacturing dreams and selling them to children. Why are you taking your social queues from a corporation? They are not your friends, you are their food.

Have we actually gone insane here? Disney isn’t the good guy in this story, Disney is just a dairy farmer and we are all his utters. They are capitalizing on social and cultural trends. Their marketing and finance teams identified that minorities are gaining more and more purchasing power, so they become more partial to media that highlights those minorities. It’s more calculation than representation. That’s a little gross, right? So let’s stop making them the heroes here, they are only going to make more money. Instead, let’s worry about the years of therapy Halle Bailey is going to need after she endures the tempest of racism and death-threats she is surely being subjected to courtesy of the internet. Shit, the story of a young black actress taking up the role of a white cartoon character and then having to suffer the public backlash as a result, is a much more compelling story than that of Ariel. Make that instead.

So what do I think about black Ariel? – asked no one ever. As I always do, I will tell you anyways…

I think it’s cool. I think we need more representation for all minorities, and making the lead characters of culturally important movies the same race or ethnicity as those minorities, is ultimately a step in the right direction. We can’t fix the past, it will linger and its echoes will be felt for the foreseeable future. But what we can do, is paint our cultural history how we want it to look in the future so we can give our children a rubric for creating a decent society; and if this corporate creation does even a little bit of that, I think that’s pretty good.

….

I do have one point of contention though. I want more black princesses. I do. But Ariel? It’s a half-fish humanoid that lives underwater and swims all the time. If there was ever a role made for a Cuban, it was that one. Can we trade? You can have Cinderella and Bella, just give us Cubans the Ariel. And if that deal is not acceptable, can you at least make her Haitian? They get on rafts too; we are basically the same thing. Anyway, think about it black community, you got my number.