Did you know we are running out of sand? Sand. Grains of sand. As in the unit of measure used to describe an impossibly large amount of something… We are running out of that shit. I didn’t even know that was a non-renewable resource. But apparently we keep making mirrors and artificial islands, and now … Continue reading Human Flaw Bombs →

My grandfather’s name is Domingo, which means ‘Sunday’ in Spanish. I don’t know how he got that name, but his parents were hard-working farmers so I like to think they named him after the only day in the week in which they got to rest. He is ninety years old; or so I’ve been told. … Continue reading Thinking of my grandfather. →

So, one of my favorite restaurants is being ruined by an old lady with cancer… I should probably give some context. You see, I love eating at small, local, family-owned stores. And that’s because if I were to get food-poisoning, it’s waaaayyyyy easier to win the law-suit. Turns out, Bob and Karen can’t really afford … Continue reading Sunday Breakfast at Momma’s →

Look, the internet is covered in list articles and I write on the internet sometimes so I figured, why not give it a try? You might be asking why I’m rationalizing this to myself, and the answer to that question is - Fuck you, I’m not insecure, you’re insecure! - Let me start over – … Continue reading Top 5 Reasons to Hate Your Corporate Office Job →

These are some questions I need answered and Google won’t help: Is gasping a good way to communicate with your dog? Is a drinking game called “you can’t do that”, in which you take a shot every time a cop in Law and Order: SVU does something blatantly illegal or unconstitutional, potentially life threatening? Why … Continue reading 30 Questions →

When was the last time you felt like a child? I mean the last time that you completely forgot you were an adult, if just for a brief moment… The last time I felt like a child was when an old man looked at my penis. I know that sounds like a joke, and that’s … Continue reading Bookmarks and Transitions and Public Restrooms →

As far as months go; August was not great. At least not for me…. and over 62,000 Bahamians… But we can talk about The Bahamas later; my psychological state is obviously more important right now. For the past few weeks, I have been in what I’ve always referred to as a “funk”; a term that … Continue reading Something →

So I recently got married and instead of making my vows short, sweet, and meaningful, like a normal, well-adjusted person, I decided to make them long winded and painful to listen to. Instead of taking the opportunity to express my love for the woman I am to spend the rest of my life with in … Continue reading My Wedding Vows →